Make Your Self a Christmas Present!

It’s that time of year again, you guys!

"You see what happens when you don't do your chores, Kyle?"

“You see what happens when you don’t do your chores, Kyle?”

It’s time once again to bask in the glowing warmth of Holiday Cheer! For many of us, that cheer starts in October and lasts all the way until we lurch back into consciousness on January 1st—hungover, dry-mouthed, and ten pounds heavier than we were when we had our first bite of Halloween candy.

Then, of course, it’s time for the New Year’s Resolution! This is a magical time of year when, for about five days, everyone in America pretends to give a shit about getting less fat. To fail your Resolution is almost a cliché at this point; a cultural expectation that we laugh about, if only to hide our disappointment. Another year, another Self-promise that we can’t keep.

Sounds like fun, right?

As I often say: “Surely there’s a better way.”

I’d like to introduce you to an idea that I came up with a year ago, as I was nearing the “after” picture that you see on the welcome page of this site. At the time, I had plumped up a bit from some hard partying, having just spent a month in Japan and then going on a three-week road trip five days after I got back.

There MAY have been some drinking involved in this one.

There MAY have been some drinking involved in this one.

As I returned home and made plans to slim down again, I faced the daunting scenario I’ve just described above. Luckily, inspiration struck, and I came up with an idea that would circumvent all of the worry about weight gain during the Holidays and the inevitable failure of yet another New Year’s Resolution. My idea? I would make a Christmas gift for my Self!

After thinking about what to make for my Self, I decided that I would reduce my Cumulative Measurement—the sum of my circumferences at navel, waist, and hip height—by eight inches in eight weeks. That was my Christmas gift to my Self. On Christmas morning, I would wake up and get to enjoy a gift from Jim, to Jim, that would be far better than any gift I could have gotten from anyone else.

So applied my knowledge of how we get fat in the first place, got my shit together, and slowly started working towards the goal.

Well fast forward eight weeks—I ended up finishing with a week to spare, like a Boss™—and dig it: I took the paper on which I’d recorded my progress and put it in an envelope along with a certificate that had a description of what I’d accomplished, including the measurements, the change in pants size, and a brief description of the change in appearance and confidence. I sealed the envelope and marked it “To: Me. From: Me.” Now, I didn’t put this under the tree and open it in front of family and friends, because even I’ll agree that that’s weird as shit. But I did open it on Christmas morning, and it was an unforgettable feeling.

"This is a metaphor for how I live my life. That really happened, though."

“This is a metaphor for how I live my life. That really happened, though.”

Imagine the pride of accomplishment that comes with doing something like that for yourself. Imagine the objective, tangible markers of success that can be staring you in the face on Christmas morning. Imagine having the #1 most-often-stated New Year’s Resolution—to lose weight—already completed before the new year even starts! Imagine the satisfaction and stress relief that would come from knowing that you are completely capable of improving yourself. There it’ll be: irrefutable proof that you can do it.

For obvious reasons, I’ve singled out fat loss as the gift to make for yourself. However, the gift can really be anything. If you’re already regular-sized, here are some ideas of gifts that you can make for yourself, or begin to make for yourself, in eight weeks:

1) Learn a foreign language.

2) Learn how to ballroom or salsa dance.

3) Some new clothes that make you feel fantastic when you wear them

4) The benefit of daily meditation.

5) Eight hours of sleep each night.

6) Join a weekly club; could be book club, polar bear club, martial arts session, yoga, personal training, or anything else.

7) Eight weeks of filling up a notebook page per day (you’d have 56 pages by Christmas!) with things in your life that are going well or things to be grateful for. You could bind and cover those pages, and give yourself a “Book of Gratitude.” Holy shit that’s a good idea, I’m totally doing that.

This is just off the top of my head. The idea is to take something that you would identify as a New Year’s Resolution and decide that you’re going to make it now, in eight weeks, as a Christmas gift to yourself. Then make a plan to accomplish it by 12/25/13, and begin!

My Gift to My Self This Year

My Self is in for a treat! Along with #7 above that I just thought of, here’s what I’m going to be making for my Self.

I started this blog back in February of this year, and it has been incredibly satisfying. Along with the articles that have been so fun to write, it has been awesome to hear all the great feedback from those who have purchased a Fat Loss Map, gone through a month or multiple months of Personal Consultation with me, and gotten some measure of inspiration or focus from The Keen Physique’s Facebook Page. Thank you to all my clients, past and present, and those who have dropped me a note of appreciation in the last nine months or so.

Recently though, as some have pointed out, I’ve been slacking! Articles are fewer and farther between, and the Facebook updates aren’t doing much better. Instead of thinking of reasons why this is and explaining myself, I’ve decided to skip that shit and go right to the solution. My gift to myself this Christmas will be eight articles and 56 Facebook updates. Specifically, a schedule of 1) A new article each week and 2) A Facebook update every day. Yep, every day.

When I wake up on Christmas morning, I will have the pleasure of looking back to the day this article was published and, scrolling forward from there, enjoying all over again the accumulated words from everything that I’m going to write between now and then. Here’s a fun part: even if nobody gets any value out of this increased output, it will still be valuable because I will have gotten something out of it. This is a gift I’m making for my Self; in other words, I’m doing it because of how I’ll feel when it’s done. Your gift should be the same. It’s for you, not anyone else.

So You’d Like to Get Regular-Sized

Some of you reading this right now would like to drop a few sizes for your New Year’s Resolutions. Well, consider doing it this way instead. And furthermore, consider letting me help.

For the determined, I’m offering Personal Consultations for twice their normal duration. Instead of a one-month consultation, this consult will last until Christmas, all for the price of the one-month consultation. So far, every personal consult client has seen consistent results, and it is just the thing for someone who is ready to get their shit together this season.

Alternatively, for those who would like to tackle their Resolution early on their own, I’ll be offering the Fat Loss Map at a steep discount. For a few weeks, you can get the Map for a small fraction of the price of your last bar tab. You’re welcome.


Whether you take me up on my offers or not, do your Self a favor and fire the hell up! Imagine what you can be on Christmas morning. Imagine who you can become in eight short weeks. The best time to start is last year; the next best time is now! Let’s get into it!